Chagrin

cha·grin n
a feeling of vexation or humiliation due to disappointment about something
vt
to frustrate or annoy somebody through disappointed hopes

(Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.)

You know, sometimes a word just pops into your mind that is so fitting, so apt. Well, today, in our house, that word is 'chagrin'. We have found the word that sums up our boy.

(Lest you think I am being too hard on the boy, I offer this: The word is not fitting all of the time. Of course. He is a wonderful, sweet boy who I adore. But it does fit sometimes, and to be honest, ofttimes. Often enough, in fact, that when we happened upon it the other day, we, the parents, cried - That's it!)

It's the word 'hopes' in the definition that sealed it. I cannot tell you how many lectures conversations are had in our house about the exceedingly high expectations and hopes this child has. I don't mean expectations pertaining to life goals or aspirations; we're talking about relatively small things.

For example:

Dinner is over. Sweet boy asks, can I have dessert? (I usually provide the kids with some kind of fresh fruit for dessert each evening.) Because of time constraints or lack of fruit on hand or maybe because Mom JUST - DOESN'T - FEEL - LIKE - IT (hey, it happens), the answer is, much to the boy's chagrin, 'No, not tonight.' And here it comes..... The countenance falls (like countenances have never fallen before!) The shoulders slump. The voice transforms into something timid and squeaky. The mood becomes mopey. All over the dashed hopes for a bowl of strawberries.

I have to tell you that this child's real life experience is that his every whim is NOT indulged. I say 'no' all the time. I really do. So when this big dramatic scene plays out, it always takes me by surprise. I'm sure all of your children respond quite pleasantly when they don't get what they want and say something like, That's okay, Mom, thanks for making dinner! It sure was yummy! Can I help you with the dishes? Did I mention that you are the best mom ever?

So, we decided to introduce the word to the boy the other day. He said he didn't know it, but he made a pretty accurate guess as to its meaning. We had him look it up anyway.

And about this - this being chagrined - he said later in the evening with a smile, It's my hobby.

Some kids collect baseball cards, some play soccer. Mine gets chagrined. I love that kid.