Or:
Or:
How to make my brother laugh (and cry) even when he's not happy with me
How to make Clement Clarke Moore cringe from the grave
Or:
How to make my brother laugh (and cry) even when he's not happy with me
A Gift for Rory
'Twas the week before Christmas
And my heart was aflutter.
I had all my gifts,
Save the one for my brother.
For his list many times
We cajoled and we pleaded.
But to our dismay,
Our pleas were not heeded.
Where would we shop?
Oh, what would we buy?
What in the world
Can we get for that guy?
A-shopping we went
With grandiose design.
We'll sure knock his socks off
This Christmas time!
We shopped at the mall,
Old Navy and Target.
We even hit Wal-Mart;
You know we were desperate.
We queried the kinfolk,
"What did you get for Rory?"
Each person we asked
Just had the same story.
"You know your brother
Didn't send us a list.
He's always been difficult,
That Rory!" they hissed.
So what can we get for this
Super cool man?
Maybe something to show
He's the ultimate fan.
Aggies or Cowboys
Or maybe the Rangers
(So bummed that the trophy
And they remain strangers.)
Nah, sports is too obvious.
How 'bout a top?
Something blue or deep green
To make his eyes pop!
"Get him some wine,"
Suggested the nephew.
Hmm, maybe instead
We should call Dr. Drew.
A nice vuvuzela
To relive World Cup fun?
But that crazy noisemaker
Would make Mom come undone.
Perhaps something quirky
Like a jar of cashews,
Chia pets or a clapper,
Or a Snuggie or two.
What can you give to
The man who has all?
Surely he doesn't need
Crap from the mall.
When truly the one thing
We wish to convey,
Are three little words
We don't often say.
So if you're not satisfied
To hear "We love you."
Then give us your list
Before the day's through.
Although I would love to post the video of the live reading ... I won't. And, dear brother, your gift is on the way (along with our thank-you notes.)'Twas the week before Christmas
And my heart was aflutter.
I had all my gifts,
Save the one for my brother.
For his list many times
We cajoled and we pleaded.
But to our dismay,
Our pleas were not heeded.
Where would we shop?
Oh, what would we buy?
What in the world
Can we get for that guy?
A-shopping we went
With grandiose design.
We'll sure knock his socks off
This Christmas time!
We shopped at the mall,
Old Navy and Target.
We even hit Wal-Mart;
You know we were desperate.
We queried the kinfolk,
"What did you get for Rory?"
Each person we asked
Just had the same story.
"You know your brother
Didn't send us a list.
He's always been difficult,
That Rory!" they hissed.
So what can we get for this
Super cool man?
Maybe something to show
He's the ultimate fan.
Aggies or Cowboys
Or maybe the Rangers
(So bummed that the trophy
And they remain strangers.)
Nah, sports is too obvious.
How 'bout a top?
Something blue or deep green
To make his eyes pop!
"Get him some wine,"
Suggested the nephew.
Hmm, maybe instead
We should call Dr. Drew.
A nice vuvuzela
To relive World Cup fun?
But that crazy noisemaker
Would make Mom come undone.
Perhaps something quirky
Like a jar of cashews,
Chia pets or a clapper,
Or a Snuggie or two.
What can you give to
The man who has all?
Surely he doesn't need
Crap from the mall.
When truly the one thing
We wish to convey,
Are three little words
We don't often say.
So if you're not satisfied
To hear "We love you."
Then give us your list
Before the day's through.
2 comments:
WOW. You are one talented girl! I think I'd be delighted to have a poem written 'specially for me. I hope your brother's unhappiness with you wasn't because of your poetic attempts and lack of "mall crap!" ;-)
Hilarious! I wish I could see a picture of his face as you read your poem.
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