Saturday was the big day. Emma (a.k.a. Science Girl, for the remainder of this post), rocked it!
She had been so excited all week about this day. Not that we didn't hit a few rough spots. There were a few tense moments because, you see, at the regional science fair it works like this:
Judging for the 1st - 3rd graders began at 11:00am. The judging consists of your child standing post at his/her project and answering questions about it when the judges come by. After the judging, the children are ushered into the next room, group by group, where they go on stage and speak their name into the microphone. At which point, parents and child may finally be reunited. Keep in mind, there are hundreds of children participating in this event. It takes time.
No parents are allowed in the hall during the judging and are shuffled out 15 minutes prior to judging. I had forgotten about this separation. I must mention that Science Girl is only 7 (just turned) and can be a bit fearful of new situations and being separated from mom in dad in said situations. There were tears, and little clinging arms. The kind of desperate-reaching-out clinging that makes my heart ache!
We've seen this before. For example, the first day of first grade - oh, the tears!! She was hysterical with fear - the only one in the room of newly minted first graders (all staring wide-eyed at my child) who was having a melt-down. But here is how that day turned out - She had a blast, came home all smiles and "No, Mommy, I didn't miss you." So, this is not an unfamiliar experience for us. Science Girl often fears the unknown, the unfamiliar. Who can blame her?
But, how do you balance taking care of your child's heart and reassuring her, while at the same time, allowing her the opportunity to face her fear and overcome it, as you are most confident she will? Of course I wanted to wrap my arms around her and vow never to leave her side. Of course I wanted to be able to tell her, it's okay to quit, you don't have to do this, let's go get ice cream! But that is not what I did, because I do realize that I have a greater responsibility to her, to not shield her from these life experiences, as frightening as they may be.
I gave her the best pep-talk that I could muster. I did not tell her there was nothing to be scared of. I did not utter the phrase, "Buck up, little camper!" I did lay out for her exactly what was going to happen, reassured her that she would not be alone, reassured her that even though she was scared, she could make it through and that it would be worth it. The sweet woman next to us (observing the drama), attempted to forge an alliance between her daughter (also a little nervous) and mine, which afforded us enough of a distraction to exit without Science Girl melting into a puddle. (Thank you, compassionate lady, mother of Katie from Round Rock, Texas.) My heart was breaking. But I knew she would overcome. She always does. Science Girl is awesome that way. Of course, I was still fearful that she would be a mass of tears when she got onstage, forever traumatized by the 2009 Austin Energy Regional Science Festival.
Science Girl was fine. Mom and Dad, however, were a bit traumatized (from the hour-plus wait to see her emerge from the judging), but we have since recovered.
After a break for lunch, and an enjoyable stroll across the river and back, we returned to the Science Fair, to find out how Science Girl's project fared in the judging. We were excited to discover a second place ribbon on her exhibit. We 'oohed' and 'aahed' and heaped praise upon our child. Though she was pleased, you could tell the registration was there that second is just not the same as first. (This fact evidenced by Science Girl's proud comment later, upon seeing one of her brother's friends with a third place ribbon, "I beat so-and-so!")
In the end, the real victory here is that Science Girl faced her fear and emerged with a smile on her face. She faced it on her own and if you ask her, she will tell you it was worth it. I couldn't be more proud. And, oh yeah, that science project was pretty good, too.
She had been so excited all week about this day. Not that we didn't hit a few rough spots. There were a few tense moments because, you see, at the regional science fair it works like this:
Judging for the 1st - 3rd graders began at 11:00am. The judging consists of your child standing post at his/her project and answering questions about it when the judges come by. After the judging, the children are ushered into the next room, group by group, where they go on stage and speak their name into the microphone. At which point, parents and child may finally be reunited. Keep in mind, there are hundreds of children participating in this event. It takes time.
No parents are allowed in the hall during the judging and are shuffled out 15 minutes prior to judging. I had forgotten about this separation. I must mention that Science Girl is only 7 (just turned) and can be a bit fearful of new situations and being separated from mom in dad in said situations. There were tears, and little clinging arms. The kind of desperate-reaching-out clinging that makes my heart ache!
We've seen this before. For example, the first day of first grade - oh, the tears!! She was hysterical with fear - the only one in the room of newly minted first graders (all staring wide-eyed at my child) who was having a melt-down. But here is how that day turned out - She had a blast, came home all smiles and "No, Mommy, I didn't miss you." So, this is not an unfamiliar experience for us. Science Girl often fears the unknown, the unfamiliar. Who can blame her?
But, how do you balance taking care of your child's heart and reassuring her, while at the same time, allowing her the opportunity to face her fear and overcome it, as you are most confident she will? Of course I wanted to wrap my arms around her and vow never to leave her side. Of course I wanted to be able to tell her, it's okay to quit, you don't have to do this, let's go get ice cream! But that is not what I did, because I do realize that I have a greater responsibility to her, to not shield her from these life experiences, as frightening as they may be.
I gave her the best pep-talk that I could muster. I did not tell her there was nothing to be scared of. I did not utter the phrase, "Buck up, little camper!" I did lay out for her exactly what was going to happen, reassured her that she would not be alone, reassured her that even though she was scared, she could make it through and that it would be worth it. The sweet woman next to us (observing the drama), attempted to forge an alliance between her daughter (also a little nervous) and mine, which afforded us enough of a distraction to exit without Science Girl melting into a puddle. (Thank you, compassionate lady, mother of Katie from Round Rock, Texas.) My heart was breaking. But I knew she would overcome. She always does. Science Girl is awesome that way. Of course, I was still fearful that she would be a mass of tears when she got onstage, forever traumatized by the 2009 Austin Energy Regional Science Festival.
Science Girl was fine. Mom and Dad, however, were a bit traumatized (from the hour-plus wait to see her emerge from the judging), but we have since recovered.
After a break for lunch, and an enjoyable stroll across the river and back, we returned to the Science Fair, to find out how Science Girl's project fared in the judging. We were excited to discover a second place ribbon on her exhibit. We 'oohed' and 'aahed' and heaped praise upon our child. Though she was pleased, you could tell the registration was there that second is just not the same as first. (This fact evidenced by Science Girl's proud comment later, upon seeing one of her brother's friends with a third place ribbon, "I beat so-and-so!")Ah, such is human nature.
In the end, the real victory here is that Science Girl faced her fear and emerged with a smile on her face. She faced it on her own and if you ask her, she will tell you it was worth it. I couldn't be more proud. And, oh yeah, that science project was pretty good, too.
1 comment:
Hooray for Science Girl! She definitely shares some traits with my daughter, and I share your dilemma vis-a-vis encouraging vs. sheltering.
Looks like the experience was an all-around success, though!
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