Let's try this again

Well, it's been 5 months since my last blog entry. Sad, sad, sad. I endeavor to do better. In these past many months I have spent much time considering the blog - what to write and, more particularly, why to write. It is the 'why' that I have spent more time on than the 'what', and I think clarifying the 'why' will lead me where I want to go. What I have come up with is the following.

First of all, accountability. I am in need of some external means of accountability. As I muddle through the experience of being a mom, I find that I am more often than not taking the easy way out. When I find I am not living up to my own (impossibly high, I know) standards of mom-hood, I inwardly berate myself, conjure up (spectacular! inspired!) ideas for improvement (seldom implemented), and then quietly slip back into my day-to-day routine of just getting by. This is not the pattern I long for. So then, my thought is that my blog may serve as a means to record the good and the bad, the success and the failure, the ideas and inspiration that will provide the swift kick-in-the-butt I am sorely in need of. It will serve as a diary of sorts (albeit not a private one!) and a place to record the happy and precious little moments that make my life worthwhile and encourage me to go on. Accountability - to myself, to my kids, to my husband, and to anyone else who happens upon this space.

Secondly, I recently came to the realization that I have somewhat "let myself go" during these past 10 years of motherhood - in an intellectual sense, that is. I recently rediscovered the joy of reading for pleasure - the delight that comes from digesting another's well-crafted prose. I had forgotten how much I gained as a young person from this exercise of the mind and imagination and how much I need this food for the soul. My desire is to begin to exercise my intellect and challenge myself to write again. There is so much to say!

Thirdly, what a simple and wonderful way to record the special moments of our lives and to share them. The many, many experiences and events I may never get around to scrapbooking, I can type a quick blog, post a few cute pics and ta-da!, memories recorded!

And so, ... here I go. I have defined the why; I am eager to see if I can pull off the what.